There’s no doubt about it, marriage is tough. I remember as a young 20 year old, newly engaged, looking at my mom and telling her “Scofield and I will never fight.” ha!!!! So young. So naive. As hard as marriage is, though, it gets better and better as the days and years go by. We are 5 years in, and I’ve never been more in love with him.
Whether it’s a smooth or bumpy season, we’ve learned a few tricks over the years that have made all the difference in our relationship.
One non-negotiable is that we take a trip away 4x/year (so, once a quarter). Now that we have Piper, they aren’t always by ourselves, but we make two trips just the two of us. Taking one of those trips at our anniversary in May, and another one around my birthday in November has worked really well for us. Even if we run out of time, or can’t fit a full getaway into our budget, we’ll opt for an overnight staycation at a fun hotel or airnb. The goal is to get out of the house, just the two of us, and really focus on each other and our marriage.
We recently spent our anniversary out on the lake and spent upward of our 48 hours away on the screened in porch. We both came home refreshed, re-energized, and united.
It can be hard to make time to get away, but it’s worth every ounce of energy. Here are some tips that have helped us commit to, and get the most out of our getaways…
1 | Plan ahead. We are so bad about planning things last minutes, but have found its so much easier when we plan ahead. We’ve been trying to look at the entire year before us and pick a date and place well in advance. It gives us something to look forward to, and keeps us committed!
2 | Find childcare. I had so much guilt the first time I left Piper, but it ended up being so good for both us and her. She had the best time with her grandparents, they loved having her, and we loved getting a break ;). As hard as it can be to leave Piper, I firmly believe it helps me be a better mom.
3 | Come with an agenda. This one might not be for everyone, but we always come with a list of things to discuss regarding our marriage, personal growth, and family. Areas we feel like we need to improve, goals we’d like to set, and action steps to get there. This might sound a little exhausting, and in some ways it is ;), but its worth the return.
4 | Make room for spontaneity. Even though we have a list of things we want to make sure we talk about, we make sure to leave part of our trip unplanned. This allows us to decide if we’re in the mood for going to dinner, eating in, watching a movie, or sleeping in, etc.
5 | Embrace adventure. One of the values for our family is “adventure.” We love to take trips, go on hikes, explore our town, and its a value we want to teach Piper. We have a ‘bucket list,’ so to speak, of places we’d like to visit and trips we’d like to take. This aspect of adventure makes allows us to create memories we’ll never forget and cherish together forever.
I hope this is helpful! I’d love to hear about your favorite getaways!!